![]() Will there be any bartenders up there in Heaven, will the pubs never close?.Cheers to many more years and many more beers.Blending is the only cardio I want and need right now.The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.Life is better with a cold drink in your hand.Whiskey is, by far, the most popular of all remedies that will not cure a cold.The best part about summer is in my hand.Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that – it’s called everybody, and they meet regularly at the bar.The difference between a rich drunk and a poor one is that a rich one tells his problems to a psychiatrist and a poor one tells his to a bartender.And without a bartender, who at home are you going to tell your troubles to? Your dog? No one ever made history in the living room.You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name - and you’ve never been to that bar before.You know you’re in trouble when the bartender cries.The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender. A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic.A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.A good bartender has to be part philosopher, part psychiatrist, part psychic.The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer.A professional bartender is someone who can do his or her best work when he or she doesn’t feel like it.Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows. ![]() A bartender can’t be made overnight, though, and a headful of recipes and facts will get you only so far.Bartenders recognize through practice what liquid increments look like in a standard mixing glass.There’s a myth out there that chilling citrus will reduce the yield of juice, so some bartenders leave it on the counter, but you can trust me when I tell you that this is a load of bull.That’s the magic of being a bartender-the sleight of hand at play, to hide all the work and serve up all the pleasure.
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